I’m Depressed. Stop Trying To Fix me.

Stop trying to fix me. 

Your discomfort with your own emotions shows, do not put that on me. 

Stop trying to change me. 

Your desire for perfection wreaks and has no place in my home. 

Stop giving me advice. 

Your words are shallow and are more for you than for me, aren’t they? 

Stop trying to save me. 

Your savior complex is ripe, please don’t try to be my god. 

Stop trying to speak. 

Words don’t mean anything, they can’t help me. 

Stop trying to cure me. 

I don’t want to be cured, I want to be human. 

Stop running from me because my emotions are heavy. 

Your abandonment hurts more than saying something wrong, it’s a knife to the chest. 

I’ve struggled with depression since I was 13 years old. I’m 27. 14 years of hearing different pieces of advice, 14 years of trying new strategies, 14 years of people walking away.

I know depression better than you. I know myself better than you. I know what I need better than you. Listen to me, now. 

I don’t need you to speak. I don’t need you to offer a different mindset. I don’t need your positivity. I don’t need your perspective. I don’t need your advice. I don’t need your fixing. I don’t need your discomfort. 

I just need you. I need your presence. 

Sometimes I need help cooking a meal. Sometimes I need someone to go on a walk with. Sometimes I need to talk about anything, anything besides my emotional state. Sometimes I need to be sat with in the dark. 

All of the time I need to be accepted. 

I’ve lived with depression for half my life and I doubt it’s going anywhere. Many are like me. We need you to be here with us when it comes. No words. No advice. No desire to fix. Just be here next to me. 

Depression is not something to be conquered. Simply because we can’t control it, we cannot destroy it either. 

And I get it, many of us have lost people we love to depression. It can be brutal. It can be deadly. People need professional treatment, yes and amen. 

But are you a professional? Is that your role? 

Learn to be great at connecting. Learn how to hold space for your own emotions so you can hold space for others. Learn to show up in silence. Learn how to laugh with those who are hurting. Learn how to be human, accepting of the hardships we have no control over. Put in the work. Because when we become depressed, there’s not much we can do to help you.